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so, last night my husband’s band played a show at the paradise grill near the house and i joined some friends to see them play.  i always love going to kyle’s shows because the music is good (i thought so before we started dating) and it’s just so fun to see kyle enjoying himself in his element.  it was a great time, that is until the class of 88 showed up for their “after reunion” party and there were tons of people in their 40’s acting like high school kids again, only completely trashed.  (why does this happen? it seems when some people get around those they hung out with in high school, they revert back to their old selves no matter what the age… weird).  i am normally really entertained by drunk people but i’m super prego right now and ended up just being tired and wanting to go home around 10pm.  before i left, i headed for the bathroom and had to push my way through the crowd and one guy apparently was offended and made some comment to the girl he was with about how fat i was and that if i wasn’t then i wouldn’t need people to move for me.  she yelled at him saying that i was pregnant and not fat and ended by calling him an ignorant… well, i will leave that part out for the sensitive ones that might read this blog… she was not nice.

it’s funny because i think there is a point that you really know you are pregnant when people are no longer afraid to ask you when you are due because you are so obviously pregnant and not fat… i apparently have been like that for about two or three months.  but sometimes you just feel fat.  like today, we went on a private tour of the hospital (a perk of kyle’s mom working there) and someone asked me if i was having twins.  and it’s not the first time.  am i really that big??  i don’t think so.  i tried to convince myself today that it was actually a compliment because they must feel that i am skinny under all this baby.  which i am not and it’s a pretty bad way to see it as a compliment and i really can’t work it out in words correctly but it works in my mind.  sure, i am 37 weeks and measuring full term, but i still have yet to gain any weight…

i am done being pregnant…

32 weeks….

these things did make me remember something about pregnancy that i was sure grateful for, especially in the beginning.  i started having weird panic attacks where my heart would just start racing like crazy for no reason what so ever, and there were very few things that could calm it.  one thing, that i had at my constant disposal, was the song “you can close your eyes” by james taylor.  short and sweet and never failed to calm my heart.  another thing was a song by a good friend called “say you love me.”  unfortunately i was only able to hear this song on myspace or at a live show (like the one we went to tonight) but tonight we got elijah stephen’s demo cd and now i can listen to it all the time. 

you guys have any comforts for your pregnancy?

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so, this is fun… this whole pregnancy thing i mean.  no, really, i have truly enjoyed it.  i feel lucky because other than back pain and occasional nausea, it really has been quite easy on me and i know that some people are having a very hard time or at least did with one of their kids.  Bella Ruth has treated me well.  it has been so cool to know that there is a baby in me that moves around and stuff… so fun.  but i am also done being pregnant… haha!

so, i am 37 weeks tomorrow and i guess that would mean that officially she is ready to be born.  she is full size already and tomorrow her lungs will be fully developed as well as everything else, so she is ready. 🙂 fun times that is for sure.  so far, people are hoping for the 18th, the 19th, the 21st, as well as november 4th and 8th so that she will be born on someone’s birthday.  we are obviously hoping for the earlier dates… 

we are ready to have a baby.  we have everything now that we absolutely have to have and so now all we are doing is waiting.  i am staying busy with work, but starting to get pretty tired.  i think it’s mostly out of being anxious for her to get here!  kyle has been such a great help and i know that i could not do it without him (in more than one way, i suppose).  so, updated i will keep you all!  and pictures will be coming soon!

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